for some strange reason, God continues to bless me. I disobey him, dishonor him and me, and yet he still loves me through the people around me.

This morning he did this, by having my dear blood-of-Christ sister call and share these verses with me:

“This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.” – 1 John 1:5-10

I think far to many times I rag on myself, because I disobey God and in the process think I am being a crappy Christian. But I know that Paul experienced the same thing, which he talks about in Romans 7:16, 18-19, 21-25 -

“For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.

So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.”

And so now I have to go back to 1 John and walk in the light, knowing that if I confess my sins, he is faithful and just to forgive me my sins and to cleanse me from all unrighteousness.

And this, my friends, is why God is far too good and I am so unworthy, but then again, that is the nature of Grace.