It’s not even noon  yet and God has already taught me…

1. I don’t think twitter is worth it.

2. I need to leave things resting in God’s hands and step back and wait on His timing.

3. No matter what, He must be glorified.

4. I am truly blessed with far more opportunities than I realize.

For my children’s theatre class, we read a play this weekend that brought up some thoughts I wanted to put out there.

The play was two parallel stories about runaway slaves in 1839 and Jews escaping Nazi Germany in 1939. In my class, we raised questions about some of the morality that was justified and the presence of “religion” and prayer in the play.  In the end it was basically boiled down to a good starting point for talking to children about slavery and the Holocaust and a message of hope.

Here are some of the questions that were brought to my mind.

• Does persecution justify sin, ever? Do two wrong ever make a right?
  In the play the children talk about the boat the slave children stole and the fact that the Jew are going to lie about their names to escape. And my thought is this: If a Christian trusts God even in the hard things, that means that we should tell the truth. Even if it means our lives. I am by no means saying that I am better or holier then the Christians who hid Jews from Nazis in WWII, but it’s a thought, isn’t it? I mean, just because someone else does something wrong, like killing people simply because of their background or faith, or enslaving them because of the color of their skin, does that justify our lies? God did tell us not to lie. How does this work?
• The people in my class said the play was “a message of hope” and my question is, how do you define “hope.” (I fully blame and thank Pastor James for this train of thought.) I looked up “hope” in the Merriam-Webster dictionary and this is what it said:

  1:to cherish a desire with anticipation
  2:trust, to desire with expectation of obtainment, to expect with confidence:trust
  Synonyms: Expect

  At the end of the play, we don’t know if the Jews escaped. We desire that they did, but can we really say that we desire it “with an expectation of obtainment” or is it merely wishful thinking? I looked up hope on urbandictionary.com and most of the answers had something to do with believing in a better future. Now, to be honest, for a non-christian, life here on earth is as good as it’s ever gonna get, so the belief that it’s gonna get better is ungrounded and unfounded. But for a Christian, we do have a confident expectation that things will get better, and that hope is grounded and founded in the Truth of Christ and his love.

These are just a couple of thoughts before I do some homework, and aren’t fully formed, but here they are. If anyone has anything to add or contradict, please please do.

I recently said to a friend “what part of ‘hesitate to speak of sin’ was that?” and they replied saying that I was being oversensitive.

That’s a very good point. And that’s where my name change and my new profile picture came from, because this world is all about desensitizing us to the sin around us. We’re supposed to be “transformed by the renewing” of our minds, and “not conform any longer to the pattern of this world” and that’s exactly what happens when we are desensitized.

We watch enough sexually inappropriate (and may I add, popular and frequently viewed) tv shows and movies and we are desensitized to the fact that it is basically flipping God off. We listen to enough vulgar and demeaning and all together truth-suppressing music and we become desensitized to the fact that it is taking beautiful things God has made and twists and distorts them into things that are sending people to hell.

Like, for example, a friend who recently made a comment about a male body part in an unnecessary and, truth be told, very offensive way. Yes, God created that body part, and yes, when used to glorify Him (as funny as that sounds) it’s not anything bad. But when it’s referenced in a way that offends the listeners (christian young women), and is completely, utterly unnecessary, that is not right and part of the desensitization.

So, DON’T BE DESENSITIZED!!!

To use Paul’s words – “I appeal to you … by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:1-2

“But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.” -Ephesians 5:3-4 (ESV)

So I’ve been thinking about this a lot in recent weeks (for those of you who hang out with me more often then not, you have experienced me singing it at you first hand) and I have decided to blog about it.

There is so much that we see as entertainment in American culture that is so entirely vulgar and inappropriate for Christian’s to be listening to, watching and experiencing, but we do, particularly at Mars Hill, because we’re “engaging culture.”

There is a very, very fine line between “engaging culture” and “embracing it” and I think that it is particularly easy for younger (age-wise) Christians to not realize they’re on the wrong side of the line. (myself included) And one of the easiest to fall into is the sexually inappropriate stuff, mainly because sex is such a prominent thing in our world today.

The way the NIV says Ephesians 5:3 is that “among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality.” Not even a HINT of sexual immorality, let alone singing and listening to entire songs about it (“Apple-Bottom Jeans,” “Soulja Boy,” “I Kissed a Girl” to name a few popular ones). All that does is show the world that as Christians we’re making light of prostitution, nasty sex outside of marriage, and homosexuality.

I like the way the commentary for this passage put it on Biblegateway.com.

“Filthy lusts must be rooted out. These sins must be dreaded and detested. Here are not only cautions against gross acts of sin, but against what some may make light of. But these things are so far from being profitable. that they pollute and poison the hearers. Our cheerfulness (including our enjoyment in music) should show itself as becomes Christians, in what may tend to God’s glory.“

Paul continues in Ephesians 5 -

“Therefore do not become partners with them; for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says,
“Awake, O sleeper,
and arise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you.”
Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.“

I am by no means suggesting that we pull away into a Christian bubble and only listen to Christian music and watch Christian movies and read Christian books. That’s not “engaging” the world (but that’s another blog all together). I am saying, however, that we are supposed to “be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us.” (Ephesians 5:1-2)

So if you ever hear me sing at you the line from Emphasis, “Hesitate to speak of sin,” know that this is where it’s coming from, and that I love you.

so it’s the beginning of summer, my sisters are gone for 7 and a 1/2 weeks, and there is so much this summer that i have no idea what is going to happen that i am simply wanting to curl up and cry all day today.

but of course, i can’t, because i have an 7 pages of an essay about “true love” to write about, an anatomy and physiology final to study for, and a four hour shift at work tonight.

and i think that’s a blessing from God, because i’m being forced to think, to engage in life, and i can’t just slink away.

there are a few verses i need to focus on right now…

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.” – Hebrews 12:1-3

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, 3for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” – James 1:2-4

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” – Romans 8:28

Abba, please help me to see your hand working in this, for my good, for your glory, knowing that you’ve got everything under control.
Help me to trust in you with everything i have, knowing and living in the fact that you are God.

do i strike you as suburbia perfect princess who never says anything harsher than “golly” and would never dream of getting a tattoo because it wouldn’t go with my elbow length white gloves?

for some strange reason, God continues to bless me. I disobey him, dishonor him and me, and yet he still loves me through the people around me.

This morning he did this, by having my dear blood-of-Christ sister call and share these verses with me:

“This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.” – 1 John 1:5-10

I think far to many times I rag on myself, because I disobey God and in the process think I am being a crappy Christian. But I know that Paul experienced the same thing, which he talks about in Romans 7:16, 18-19, 21-25 -

“For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.

So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.”

And so now I have to go back to 1 John and walk in the light, knowing that if I confess my sins, he is faithful and just to forgive me my sins and to cleanse me from all unrighteousness.

And this, my friends, is why God is far too good and I am so unworthy, but then again, that is the nature of Grace.

i drove past your house today
both times, kind of hoping I would see you…
but of course, I didn’t

i want to tell you how I feel
to cuss you out, slap you in the face
whatever, something
just something so I don’t feel like there is
this funny fake friendship between us
it’s just so frustrating!

so anyway
I drove on the street where you live…

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. Once you were not a people, but now you are God’s people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul. - 1 peter 2:9-11

For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin. There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.- Romans7:22-25, 8:1-8

I have felt this war so, so strongly of late. There is one sin I really struggle with and I can feel the fight within me, and unfortunately, most of the time, I allow my flesh to win over me. And according to those verse, that sets me at odds with God – makes me hostile toward Him.

Last night I felt the fight again – I was singing “author and perfecter” in my head about considering “him who endured the cross and all it’s shame” and was getting ready to sin against the very person who had died for me. I disgust myself.

This morning I want to pull an Ephesians 6 -

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints… – Ephesians 6:10-18

And I need to keep on keeping on -

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls! - Hebrews 12:1-3 (ESV & The Message)

…written in the silence of a sunday afternoon…

She looked across the room and saw him, that dashing boy, his deep blue eyes penetrating and his dark brown hair just long enough without being too long. He looked in her direction and looked right through her. It wasn’t a romantic, he-could-see-into-my-soul type moment, it was almost as if she didn’t exist. His eyes continued to scan the room and rested on a petite blonde with a pretty face – they smiled at each other and the plain, brown haired girl felt invisible.

Alone, on the swing she sat, wondering why it was people say someone fell head over heels. After all, aren’t our heads always over our heels? Shouldn’t it be heels over head?

All she really wanted was to get away, to seek out friendlier skies, to escape reality. She was like Blanche DuBois, she wanted to be like Blanche DuBois, she didn’t want realism, she wanted magic! She wanted a holiday from real.

With pen in hand, she started writing. Would that I had the courage to tell him how I feel. If that courage were housed within me, I would write love to him so passionately, this pen would break at the intensity. she paused, pen poised in the air above the paper. But do I have this courage? Indeed not, I am a simple, silly schoolgirl without a hope in the world.